Tag Archives: adoption plan

A TRIBUTE TO ALL BIRTHMOTHERS ON THEIR SPECIAL DAY!

Every year, on a special day in May, we celebrate Mother’s Day. For many of us, that celebration may never have been possible without the privilege and honor given to us by the Birthmothers of our children. On the Saturday BEFORE Mother’s Day, we celebrate BIRTHMOTHER’S DAY and remember the women who gave us the ultimate gift of becoming a Mother! So, to the very special and loving Birthmothers that have touched my heart over the last 35+ years and to the Birthmothers who are part of my family, I remember you and you will always have a special place in my heart.

Just last week, a woman named “Laura” asked to ‘friend’ my husband Sam on Facebook. We both looked at her picture and were fairly certain she was the Laura we came to know and love over 35 years ago when she made an adoption plan for her daughter. Sure enough, we were right and were instantly reconnected. Laura told us she knows she made the right decision all those many years ago. What a beautiful lady that we will always love and respect.

Laura is just one of the special Moms who make the meaning of the word “Mother” so special. These very special mothers made the hardest and most selfless decision of their lives when they chose life and adoption, when they made a plan for their child’s future and placed their child above their own feelings. That for sure is the ultimate sacrifice any MOTHER can make.

To all the Birthmoms that may be reading this, thank you for the gift of your child into our lives. In our hearts, there will always be a very special place for you because without you, our dreams of becoming a “Mommy” may never have come true. We will always share the pride that we have in our children with you because you will always be part of who they are. When someone says “Happy Mother’s Day,” I am always reminded of all of the Loving Birthmothers who will always have a special place in my heart.

Hope Arrives

Brittany's Birthmom BlogHope Arrives

I guess you could call it “Mother’s Intuition.” When I opened my eyes from a difficult sleep, I knew this day was the day my baby girl Hope would make her grand appearance. Initially, I did not share with anyone that I may (or may not) be in labor, because I had experienced false labor for weeks now. But, today was different and I began to prepare myself emotionally in a way that had played over and over in my mind ever since the day I decided to make an adoption plan with ANA Adoptions. Continue reading

The Journey of “Hope”

Brittany's Birthmom BlogThe Journey of “Hope”

I had dreamed of being a mother since I was a child. I always knew deep down I would be good at it and I’d love every moment of motherhood. The day I found out I was pregnant with baby Hope, I had different feelings than when I was pregnant with my first two children. This unplanned pregnancy was a surprise, as I was in an uncommon situation. As time passed and my belly grew, I began to weigh the option of adoption. Continue reading

Welcome

Brittany's-Birthmom-Blog-HeaderBrittany’s Blog will be a place where birth parents can learn from each other. Facing an unplanned pregnancy  can be stressful. The hope is that by sharing experiences and feelings, we can make this time less stressful and more supported. Here is Brittany’s journey through the decision to make an adoption plan.  We hope you’ll check in regularly.

Here are our current posts:

The Journey of “Hope”

Hope Arrives

Are You Asking Yourself the Important Questions?

Are You Asking Yourself the Important Questions? Have you ever had to deal with tons of unsolicited advice and un-asked-for opinions while going through one of the most difficult times in your life? If you are contemplating an adoption plan for your baby, you will probably be subjected to everything from “ that’s an honorable choice” to “it’s a mistake!”   The nurse in your doctor’s office may offer praise for the unselfish decision you are making. A friend in school might tell you that you’ll regret it.   Your own family may promise to help if you “keep it” and the father of the baby may say he’d rather if you just got rid of it! Just what you need – others telling you what to do! YOU are the only person who really understands what lies ahead of you and what you are feeling!

Ask yourself the questions listed below as you think about the options you have for your child:

  • What are your immediate and long-term goals in life? Remember, parenting is a life-long commitment.
  • If still in school, how important is it to finish? Did you ever dream of a new career?
  • How will bringing another child home from the hospital impact your life and, more importantly, the lives of other children that you may already be parenting?
  • Will you be able to rely on family to help or is there daycare available so you can go back to work? How will you pay for that?
  • Will the father of the baby help to support this child – will you continue to have a relationship with him?
  • What is your relationship with your parents, and the parents of the baby’s father?
  • What emotional and financial support can you rely upon?
  • How would you feel if you found an adoptive family who could provide a stable future and solid foundation in life for your child?
  • What kind of family network do they have in place?
  • Is your decision to parent all about how YOU feel?   Or, is your decision based on your baby and his or her future?

Think about these questions as they may help you make up your mind to either parent your child or to make an adoption plan.  If you do choose adoption, you can be sure that those who make an adoption plan in the best interest of their children ARE GOOD MOTHERS! Hold your head up high – you deserve admiration and respect from not just the adoptive family, but also from your own family and friends.

Recommended Reading for Birthparents

  1. The Third Choice: A Woman's Guide to Placing a Child for AdoptionGritter, J.L. (1997). The spirit of open adoption. 
    Washington, DC: Child Welfare League of America
    A pioneer in open adoption practice, the author gives a realistic look at the pain, joy and beauty that open adoption holds for all members of the triad.
  2. Roles, P. (1989).  Saying goodbye to a baby.  Volume I: 
    The birthparent’s guide to loss and grief in adoption.

    Washington, DC:  Child Welfare League of America
    Written by a social worker and birthmother, this book covers all of the issues faced by birthparents, including the pregnancy, adoption decision, loss, later issues and reunion.
  3.  Connelly, M. (2002).  Given in love:  For mothers who are choosing an adoption plan.
    Omaha NE: Centering Corporation
    This booklet describes some of the emotions that many birthmother experience when making an adoption plan and addresses such topics as naming the baby, keeping mementos, writing letters, and spiritual grief.

For Birthmoms: (credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.  Available online at 111.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_impact/index.cfm.