When Baby Hope was born, her new parents and I shared precious time together in the hospital but, eventually, the time came for me to be discharged. This meant Baby Hope would be discharged too; not into my arms but, instead, into the arms of her new family. It was time… time to move on with my life and time to remember the reasoning behind my decision of giving my baby up for adoption. I had to stay strong. I would always be a mother to my two little boys at home and the Birth Mother to my daughter, Baby Hope.
After the delivery, there is a period of time when the adoptive parents had to remain in Michigan awaiting my court date and then approval to go home. About a week after discharge, I would attend a short hearing and formally state I wanted the adoption to go forward. As these days loomed forward, I was given the choice of whether or not to spend more time with Hope and her new parents. Our ‘together time’ in the hospital was precious, but now, I had another decision to make which I contemplated a lot, even before she was born. I wanted to be sure I made the best and healthiest decision for everyone involved. So many questions swirled in my head and my heart. Will more time with Hope after her discharge put my mind into an unhealthy state? Would I be more upset afterwards because I would fall in love with her even more? Will her new adoptive parents be uncomfortable or even scared or nervous about how I would react?
My options were many. I could have said my goodbyes at the hospital. But Bill, Joan, and I had developed a much better relationship than that and I knew seeing them would be good for all of us. We had become so close and our time together was precious. They were like family to me. I trusted them completely and I wanted to be sure that they knew they could always trust me too. I knew deep down I would regret it if I did not spend this special time with them. Once I knew for sure that they were okay with this, we visited each other every other day during this waiting period. We did a lot together. We would go to dinner, have lunch, and we even played outside with my boys. During that special week, we made memories that all of us will cherish forever. Joan was so caring, always checking to see how I was doing. Joan encouraged me to help when things needed to be done for Hope and it was an honor to feed her, and change her diaper. It was also a great feeling to look at Joan and see how she too was so much in love with Hope. It was also reassuring to me to witness what a great mother she was.
During this special time, I embraced all of my blessings and, while I was still sad, I knew the reasons I chose adoption were more important than the pain I also felt. With each passing day until the court hearing, my heart hurt a little more. My counselors at ANA explained this was to be expected but that pain was now a reality. Even so, I know in my heart that my whole adoption experience was a blessing. I am a woman of faith and after prayer, I felt peace and comfort in knowing I was doing the work of the Lord. That Peace surrounded me with the assurance that my daughter was with the family I chose for her, my boys were safe with me and my heart would always hold all three of them close. God gave me the peace I needed. Adoption has blessed my life, the life of Baby Hope and Bill and Joan. I know they’re the parents the Lord intended for my daughter.
Choosing The Parents Of Your Baby
In the beginning of my pregnancy I wondered how my search would evolve. I prayed a lot for a couple who would have hearts to match mine and who shared my values. After finding ANA Adoptions and talking with Andrea, I realized there is much beauty to adoption too. What stands out most of all, is that I was able to choose the adoption plan that felt right for me. Andrea sent me many adoption profiles to review but Bill and Joan’s book drew me in. I read about their lives as children and I learned about their families. I read about their married life and their dreams for a child. They tugged at my heart and I kept going back, drawn by their photos and drawn by their promises.
You too can choose the parents of your baby and work out the time you get to spend with your baby, the pictures you will receive and ongoing relationships are possible. It’s not you against them, it’s you WITH them. In the end, there are never too many people to love one child. I am blessed that Hope has a wonderful life – the one that I planned for her. I will never stop loving her and I know that Bill and Joan will never stop loving her either. How amazing is that! How amazing is trust and faith! How amazing is adoption when it’s done because of love . . .