An Open Letter to Birthmoms

Birthmother Adoption ServicesAs a kid, I grew up bouncing from one relative’s home to another’s because my parents had their own issues and couldn’t provide for me. It wasn’t long before I realized I was headed down the same road as my mom –toward a destination that definitely wasn’t good! When I became pregnant a few years ago, my heart told me that I should keep my child, but I knew that this baby deserved a better life than the one I had or what I could provide. I would not abort but give her the gift of life through adoption. I saw an ad in our paper, and called the number.   Andie answered in the middle of the night and spent lots of time talking to me and going over my options. I received profiles of waiting families and found the perfect couple to become the parents of my baby. After that first call with Joe and Cathy, I knew I made the right decision. They drove from their home in PA to meet me in Michigan. We spent a wonderful weekend talking and visiting and they got to meet one of my aunts who loved them too.   When they left, I was finally able to sleep through the night – no more fears about what would become of this baby and me. When my daughter was born, Joe and Cathy were at the hospital and Joe cut the cord. We cried together, held her together and then I gave them the greatest gift – the gift of “our” daughter. I knew this child would have the life I would have loved for myself, in a stable home environment, with two parents and lots of love. I still keep in touch with Joe and Cathy and they send pictures and updates of ‘our’ daughter. She is beautiful and happy, living a life I always dreamed of for her.

People have asked me “how could you give away your flesh and blood,”’ but my answer is clear. I never gave her away – I gave her life and a future – something I wasn’t able to provide for her. My life is now on track. I am in college studying to be a counselor, I have a good job and a great boyfriend. I stay in touch with Andie and often run ideas by her or we just talk to catch up! She really cares about me – I am a person – and not just another adoption placement! We celebrate how good I am doing – finally – and how great my daughter is doing.   I send my daughter letters and little cards and gifts that Cathy and Joe share with her. When I made that first call to ANA and Andie, it didn’t take long to know I was doing the right thing by choosing adoption. I chose life and a future and while I know it is probably the hardest choice I will ever make, it was definitely the right one and I am proud of what I did.   I am at peace and moving forward with life, and my daughter could not be in a better home! Life is good!!

- Kristie

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